Let's Be Real With Ourselves

There was a great article in the New York Times published a few days ago that really struck a chord with me. The author, Janice Min, the editor of Us Weekly talked about the ridiculous standards that women are held to after they give birth to bounce back to their old body.

The Beyonce's and Heidi Klum's of the world have changed everyone's idea of what happens to a woman's body after giving birth so much so that when it doesn't happen right away, people will knock that woman down. We are so hard on ourselves. Sure, celebrities' bodies bounce back, but that's because their career is based on their looks. They have nannies to care for their babies while they go to pilates class.

In the real world, its much different. Once your child is born, it takes weeks and weeks to not have a "baby bump" any more. Not to be too technical but after birth, your uterus is still large enough to accommodate a child. Not to mention, all of your internal organs need to migrate back to their proper place.

Its hard to go out in public with a newborn baby when it looks like you're still pregnant. People stare at you like something doesn't add up.

One of the saddest things about this lack of confidence is that I don't have many photos of myself with Landon right after he was born. I felt I was too ugly or too fat in every picture and would delete them. Out of the hundreds of photos I added to Facebook after Landon was born, there were maybe a handful of photos of myself. Sure, I loved to show off my adorable son, but in reality, I didn't want anyone to know what I looked like post-baby. I was too ashamed of what my body looked like and I didn't want people to criticize my photos behind my back.

Once I stopped breastfeeding, my weight skyrocketed because I still had the appetite of a nursing mom but without the actual act, the calories had nowhere to go but to my belly. People who hadn't seen me since I had the baby would tell me how great I looked. But I would pout inside, thinking that they were lying.

I wish I had the confidence to just get over these feelings of sadness and uncertainty of my body. I hope we can change our standards and opinions of moms and just let them recover at their own pace.